Oh, those wacky catholics

The Catholic Church is telling people in countries stricken by AIDS not to use condoms because they have tiny holes in them through which the HIV virus can pass - potentially exposing thousands of people to risk.

The church is making the claims across four continents despite a widespread scientific consensus that condoms are impermeable to the HIV virus.

In other news, the Pope is frontrunner to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Because protesting the war negates all that nasty stuff about protecting child molesters and hating gays.